The Pros And Cons Of Flatting

e636813dfa1d89e54fa1b8296214b56dWhen I left home at 16, I didn’t expect I’d move around as much as I have. It’s been 5 years, and the experiences I’ve had with living with other people have their good and bad. Everyone’s experiences will be different, and every person you live with will teach you something. My first year living out of home was at a university hostel, my second year I lived with two girls, my third and fourth year I lived with Mr. Penguin and this year I am living with three people.

Although, it’d be nice to be living with Mr. Penguin or live on my own this year, living with other people makes you learn a lot about others and yourself. This is slightly a rant post of frustration and stress that I really need to express, as my ideal situation would be living in a flat with 3 cats with Mr. Penguin. As someone who really values space and quiet, living with other people can come with its challenges. If you’re an HSP you might relate to some of these.

Pros

When people are clean it makes a world of difference. Living with clean people is one of the biggest things I have when living with people. It makes such a huge difference and makes it feel like a space you can really live in.

Everyone does their own chores. It might be taking the trash out, vacuuming your own room, cleaning after yourself, doing your own dishes, cleaning your own space, washing the clothes and keeping the flat tidy.

Having someone to talk to when you’re bored. I don’t talk to my current flatmates very often, but it’s nice to have people to talk to when you’re feeling bored or just talk about your day.

Not getting outwardly upset about things as much. I’ve only cried once while living in my current place because there’s something about living with people I don’t know well. I don’t like letting others see me crying or getting upset about something.

Cons

Not being able to completely let loose. If I’m upset I tend to want to sing at the top of my lungs, but living in someone’s home tends to stop that, and I feel very limited in being able to be completely myself, especially living with people I don’t really know.

The smell of the dishwasher. I’m used to washing dishes by hand, but some places have dishwashers, however the build up of dishes sitting there over a week is a smell of food and saliva.

When people don’t bother recycling. This is a big frustration for me because if you’re living with others, you hope they are conscious of recycling. However, when I see people who just throw the bottles etc into the rubbish bin it’s frustrating.

When someone takes a shower when you wanted to. This doesn’t happen too often, but there are moments where you want to take a shower and stick to your schedule, but living with other people, it’s natural that sometimes this happens.

Any noise past 10:30pm makes you want to die. This is a huge rant for anyone who makes huge noise after 10:30pm, because, for some of us, it means lying in bed unable to fall asleep until the noise is gone or we’re too exhausted. I’ve had experience of someone vacuuming at midnight, talking and laughing or putting the dryer on.

When people talk loudly when you’re trying to focus. If it’s past 10:30pm and I hear my flatmates talking loudly downstairs while I’m trying to study or sleep, it’s incredibly frustating. If you’re a morning person but your flatmates are night owls it can be a world of pain.

Little things can make you want to die. Reading this in a years time, I’ll probably smile at how frustrated I am today. However, little things like toothpaste on the sink, hair shavings all over the sink, loud noise and not bothering to recycle will tick me off.

Having small talk and wanting to escape. Being asked “How are you?” every time you see a flatmate is a pet peeve of mine, but we all do it, and it’s annoying at times because it’s asked out of politeness, not genuine interest most of the time.

rant over

Art by Yuliya

What I’ve Learned From Living With My Boyfriend

6a0120a5f0e3de970c013480aac562970c.jpgLiving in Sydney was a different experience to what I was used to, as a country girl at heart. Although, I’d previously lived in central city in Auckland for two years, it’s always been a big little city to me. Being able to live with your other half is so wonderful, especially for those who have been in a long distance relationship. You may of heard that sometimes living with a friend can make or break the relationship, because people can sometimes be different to live with than to hang out with. Then there’s each of us with different habits, ways of living and doing different things in our spare time. Everyone will have their moments of ups and downs, but communication is definitely key when living with anybody.

We have our specific side of the bed. Did this ever happen when you were at home, and somehow you’d always have a specific seat you sat at the dinner table, the special cup you’d use and the seat in the lounge area? I think it’s something that’s done out of habit.

Long days are worth it when you can come home. No matter if you have a good or bad day, it’s a sweet feeling knowing you can go home and give your loved one a hug and a kiss. You can talk about what you both did during the day, and share any exciting stories.

Home is where we can be completely ourselves. As much as we should always be ourselves, when you’re at home, it’s your private space to be as loose, silly, talkative, sleepy and tired and just be completely yourself. You can wear your sweatpants all day, dance around and sing in the shower without a care.

Conversations and silences are both important. To be able to be with a friend or a partner where you can cherish the silences with ease, is something precious in a noisy world. When you can be completely comfortable with having nothing to say, and listen to one another when you do speak, that’s something.

Compromise is important to learn. Being able to both compromise is important, if one or the other person wants to do something. Thinking of the other person and being considerate should be in any relationship. No one will always agree on everything, but being able to come to an agreement for certain things is sometimes needed.

You will both have your own habits. I feel like everyone has their own little interesting habits. When you live with someone, that’s when you really notice them. For example, I spend a long time brushing my teeth, and I have to pick up my hairs off the floor after drying it.

Developing couple language is the norm. If you spend a lot of time talking with one another, it’s natural to start making up words or developing your own language. There are certain words you might replace, or use only in public.

We spend time to do our own thing. If you think of when you lived with your family, then you know that everyone usually does their own thing. Space is important. It’s mostly when you go out that you make quality time to spend together. At home, it’s the simple things like cooking, watching a movie or talking.

Art by Marta Antelo